Joel Schumacher is also a douchebag. Origianaly… huh? (Freudian slip?!) Originally I was cast to play all the male leading parts. But George Clooney with his incredibly chiseled face and Chris O’Donnells infamous BJ tricks convinced Joel that they should have leading roles instead. They later managed to squeeze in Arnie despite his lacking acting skills. Also known as; He doesn’t have any. And of course the rest is history and they all.. wait a minute.. oh that’s right, the movie completly flopped so badly that no one even touched Batman until Chris Nolan rebooted the shit out it.. the shit of awesome-ness.
So am I still pissed about them stealing my leading roles away from me? Do I still hold a grudge? Of course not, we’re all good friends even though we don’t hang out as much anymore, but that’s mostly because George won’t return my calls, too occupied staring at goatses or something, I’ve heard. And Chris is too busy playing golf all the time.
So even though I hold no grudge I’ll let you in on a little secret. Guess who put the nipples on their suits? Muhahaha, vengance is a dish best served with latex straight in your face at the opening credits.
